Divine Intervention and the Acolytes of My Chair

This is My Chair.

At least, it's the best image I could find of the same type of chair without having to get off my ass to take a picture.

Apparently, the students in my Firefighter 1 & 2 class worship it.

Frankly, I can't blame them. My Chair, emboldened with a bright maple leaf; this chair, purchased in my home and native land; My Chair, lovingly transported to the nation 'down-below' (not to be confused with the land down-under - Oz is was cooler than the US), My Chair keeps my ass off the ground while giving me a place to secure my Venti Starbucks Chai while feigning passing interest in the epileptic mambo-like dance that learning firefighters find themselves doing.

My Chair is worthy of that worship.

Subsequently, the students believe that My Chair should be prominently displayed for all too see it and bath in its ass-supporting glory. Their faith seems to dictate that this should occur whenever possible. Their faith is strong and growing.

My chair found itself loving placed in the 3rd floor window of the training center's main burn building for all to see and worship.

However, according to the Book of Chad 3:24 "When building a temple of worship to Me, thou shalt build it on high, so all unbelievers will feel the power of my Holy Ass Support."

So, My Chair was returned to the Holy Tabernacle (the back of my SUV) wherefrom it would be removed for the next service.

However, the devoted disciples, nay Acolytes of My Chair took heed to the Holy Book and placed My Chair upon the highest point of the burn building, for all to see.

Having seen the new Altar, and having Felt Their Love, I decided to complete the service my placing my ass upon My Chair.

Unfortunately the Forces of Evil were conspiring to remove me from My Chair in a Dorothy-esque manner. While basking in the Love and Worship from the Acolytes of My Chair, the evil Lowenstein and one of his minions attempted to remove me from My Chair by using the deck gun of one of the pumpers.

Keep in mind, these babies, with a 1.5" tip can flow many hundreds of gallons of water per minute.

I heard the pump throttle up, I looked down off the building and noticed I was staring straight down the bore of the nozzle.

Ruh roh.

And just as the stream was coming towards me, the Gods of My Chair intervened, the turret detached itself from the pumper and proceeded to drop a few hundred gallons of water on Lowenstein.

"The Acolytes of the Chair Rejoiced, knowing that their faith was true and their prayers were answered." Book of Chad, 43:32

God loves Canada.

The Acolytes also made a video of their ceremony to help spread the faith. I'll post it once I get clearance from the folks in it.

Meanwhile, this is Lowenstein getting soaked.

awesome.